Tree of Life Blog

One of the things I think shocks pastors more than anything is the people who tell you to your face that they are loyal, but behind your back they are slanderous. They are two-faced, double-mouthed, immature and mature people, that are hard work for any leader to deal with. Remember in the animal kingdom, there is only one animal whose tongue goes in two different directions – and that is the snake!

These people are two-faced – to your face they tell you “what a wonderful sermon”, “what a great pastor you are”, “how awesome you are”; but behind your back they will tell others “don’t you think pastor preaches too long”, “giving to this church is foolish, it is bad soil”, “this church neglects your gift”. What they are is voice pieces for the devil himself, as he is the accuser of the brethren.

Often as a pastor, you encounter these people and you love them, but when you start to hear what they say when you are not there, you get strange thoughts in your head. Nothing makes sense, and it is painful. There’s a reason we call it getting stabbed in the back, not getting tickled in the back – because it is not an enjoyable experience, it hurts.

What we must do is keep our heart clean. We cannot let those hurts and wounds get infected with bitterness and fester. Wash those wounds with the Word! Love everyone, but don’t let people wander round in their immaturity.

The reason people do this is because there is a natural desire in all of us to impress people – many people simply buy their cars for the reason to impress others, and so on. So these people live a mature and immature life because they want to impress everyone. They like being carnal and selfish and bitter, and don’t want to crucify their flesh and renew their minds and walk in love – so they just lie to your face, and just rip you apart behind your back.

It is good to be free from the desire to impress others, but then again, it is not good to just be throwing our mouths out all over the place. The best solution is to learn to control your tongue, yield your mind to the Holy Spirit, genuinely grow up and be consistently loyal to your pastor, your church, your wife, your job, and so on and so forth.

If I pleased men, I would not be a servant of Christ – Paul, Galatians 1.10

You cannot please both God and man.  It’s not possible. You either concentrate on the people and fail to please God, or you please God and upset someone. Yes – you will definitely upset someone!

I have been planting churches in the United Kingdom since 1998, and every time I plant a new church I upset someone! Every time someone gets healed or saved in Tree of Life, someone gets upset. I have had to make a number of decisions in my life that made some people unhappy. I simply cannot do what God has called me to do, and care about pleasing man.

In fact when I started to respond to the call of God on my life, I upset family and friends! I upset pastors and elders. I have upset major ministries, I have upset little ministries, I have upset dying people, I have upset the rich and the poor.

I got into medical school – in fact, I got into 5 medical schools, I had my choice of medical schools, I could have been a great doctor. But I chose to go to Bible College instead, and that didn’t please my family too well at the time.

If you want to please people, you cannot be a servant of Christ. Many people live a dual life and are trying to do both, so I need to say it very starkly and clearly to everyone – you cannot do both, so make a choice.

I’ve seen people marry an unbeliever just to make their parents happy.  I’ve seen people not go to church as not to upset a family member who doesn’t want them to go. I’ve seen people compromise and live the double minded life over and over because they want to please everyone.

You will never mature as a Christian until you have settled this in your heart forever – I will serve Christ, and I am not a man-pleaser. People won’t quite know what to do with you or how to treat you, but Christ will – He will be pleased and He will open up doors for you that you could never dream about.

Your other option is to stay with a split personality, and try and please everyone. That way lies madness. Don’t go that way!

Samson was a judge for over two decades. You don’t do any job for over two decades, especially one that is intense and involves leadership without maturing and learning some things. So we can conclude that in some areas Samson was mature. Most pastors I know haven’t been in the ministry for over two decades – and the ones that have I look up to, but Samson had – he was a seasoned veteran minister.

But Samson was also – at the same time- ridiculously immature, and childish. In Judges 15, Samson catches 300 foxes and ties them together in pairs by the tail, then he set fire to the foxes and released them in the Philistine’s farms. That’s because they gave his fiancee to another woman!

That’s not mature behaviour. It’s a childish mind that comes up with the idea to catch hundreds of foxes and tie their tales together. If you want to burn a farm, any adult can give you a hundred easier ways than catching several hundred foxes!

So Samson was mature and immature at the same time – and I, and you, know many Christians who are sadly the same. They know the Word of God really well, but they are childish.  A child is unsteady – one of the hallmarks of a child is they can’t sit still, they have to move around. Childish Christians are always on the move – a new church, a new project, a new ministry.

There are so many child Christians who despite their knowledge of the Word cannot settle in a church. Today you will meet them in one church, tomorrow they will be going to another church. They are unsteady, unstable, yet they have great knowledge. It takes a bit of maturity to go to church!

Another hallmark of a child is they cry really easily. Children get hurt so easily, and cry at the drop of a hat, and need a lot of time and attention. Immature Christians are the same! Childish Christians can know the Bible and be mature in one level, but on the other level need lots of attention or get upset really easily.

We have to be mature in every area of our life – it’s no good being mature in ministry, but immature in the marriage!  We need to settle in marriage, in church, in life and be mature!

This is the third part of a series on split personality, parts 1 and 2 can be found here and here.

The danger of having a person with a split personality around you, having a Samson in your church, is that they are simultaneously both strong and weak. For them personally that is a huge issue, but it is also an issue for everyone around them.

Firstly, it is hard for people to know that people like that need help, because in their public life they look so strong, they look so devoted to God. As a pastor, if you assume someone like Samson is strong and mighty, why would you offer to help them?

If you are Samson, if the first couple of posts have located you in some way, you need to now become vulnerable and ask for help! You need to let people know that you are compromising and need freedom. Do it now because things will only get worse if you do not.

When you look strong, but are weak in private, nobody can actually help you. But when you say “I am weak here”, people can get into your life and help you. As a pastor, there are some people in my church who are genuinely low maintenance, they don’t really need a visit from me, and they don’t need counsel. They are strong people, strong in the Word, strong in the Spirit, strong in love. But when I see a weak one, I want to help them. But if you are weak, but you act like Samson in public, you will not get the help you really need. And that’s true across every church.

Samson had a mighty ministry, killing many many enemies of God, but in private he was a weakling. He was both strong and weak. How he was at home was not how he was at church.

In Judges 16, in one verse Samson is running away with the gates of the city on his back, in another verse he is allowing Delilah to dominate him because he cannot say “no” to a woman. Strong and weak! In the same chapter! And that’s how the enemy beat him in the end – through his weakness. Samson’s pastor didn’t know his weakness, but the devil did.

There might not be a single human who knows your weakness, but the devil does. So tell some humans who are strong, and deal with this before the devil traps you and deceives you and you are the “whom he may devour”!

A lot of politicians are Samsons, one thing in public, and another in private. We are not called to be politicians, but people of integrity, so let’s get this sorted – and church, especially elders and pastors – if strong people open up to you that they are weak, don’t manipulate them, don’t accuse them, don’t mock them – but those of you who are spiritual: restore them!  Love them, help them deal with their weakness, be firm but be kind.

Next post – let’s look at how to deal with it when Samsons stab you in the back. 

Samson essentially played games with God. He looked good in his long hair, which let everyone know he was part of church, and being good, and fitting in, and earning him praise with the church-people, but he was cheating on God with the world. He was godly and worldly, and that never works.

I know people who go to church to pick up girls. I was at a conference not that long ago and some of the teenagers in my church heard some of the youth leaders discuss the young teen girls and give them marks out of ten. Then immediately go on and minister in the gifts and teach the Word. Godly and worldly – it never works.

I saw a lady once in come to a prayer meeting. I know she had just been having an affair, cheating on her husband, but she strode into the prayer meeting, speaking in tongues and prophesying over people. Godly and worldly – it never works.

Playing games with God is when you are godly and worldly. And one of the hallmarks of people who play games with God and have a split personality is sexual immorality. Samson walked through the town with his long hair, letting everyone know how godly he was, but he wanted to marry an unbeliever. His own dad was stunned by this duplicity, and was stunned his son didn’t want to marry a godly woman.

I have seen men come to our church to get a woman, and then have nothing to do with God as soon as they are married. Split personality, playing games with God, godly and worldly. And it never works.

How could a person ever think of marrying an outsider when you are believer separated to God? What a dangerous place to be in – marriage is not a game, it is a lifelong covenant. You should desire to be married not just to another believer, but to someone utterly on fire fire for God.

Samson is a case study in contradictions because he was very godly, and very worldly. If it wasn’t for the grace of God, this could never happen, and if you don’t understand the grace of God, you will marvel it could happen, but the truth is that the Spirit of the Lord  moved Samson (Judges 13.25). Samson was the pastor of the nation of Israel, the judge, the political leader, the spiritual leader, the champion – all of it – for over twenty years, yet in all that time he never stopped being a play boy.

I’ve met pastors like that sadly. I’ve met people who commit fornication then go straight to church, it doesn’t affect them at the time because they have a split personality. They come to church and are the most expressive in the church! They are godly and worldly at the same time.

Samson even used prostitutes, one woman after the other. Yet, God’s Spirit was still on him. For twenty years he was a minister playing games with God. It is very dangerous to be godly and worldly.

Now, with my next post, I want to answer the question how do we handle people like that when we encounter them.  It may be later today, or it may be in the week, but watch this space.

One of the greatest dangers in the Christian life is a split personality. Just today I found out a minister who I have learned a lot from has been seeing prostitutes and beating his wife. That’s a split personality – who he is in the pulpit is not who he is in private. People called Christians but are secret addicts to all sorts of substances and habits are dangerous. People whose lifestyle in public are not their private lifestyle are dangerous. It is dangerous to be one of these people, it is dangerous to know these people.

The main reason people have a split personality is that they love impressing people – that is what means the most to them. They have a lifestyle in church and a lifestyle outside of church.

It is living like what Jesus called a hypocrite – a total deceptive lifestyle. You know one of the hardest things for a doctor to do is make an accurate diagnosis of a disease or sickness – when they have done that they have won half the battle because they know what they are dealing with. As a pastor I have the same problem when people are deceptive and hypocritical: I cannot help because they are hiding the problem from me.

God expects that as His children, with His life inside us, that we live a clean life. Not a life of fornication, adultery and uncleanness (have a read of Ephesians 5.3, see what I am talking about).

Now the best (or worst?) example of this kind of split personality in the Bible was probably Samson. He had just drastic split behaviour that every one of us can learn from him.

Firstly, he was a man who was unevenly yoked. That is a massive issue. Part of Samson was separated to God and holy – you could see that by the fact he never cut his hair as part of his Nazarite vows. But there was another part that was yoked to the world and the things of the world. That is the first sign and the starting point of a split personality – part of you wants to go with God, and part of you wants the things of the world. You have to accept that you cannot ever have both, and you need to choose. A failure to choose and you fall flat on your face and end up with nothing.

Samson was a Nazarite, someone who lived differently from others because of his devotion to God. He didn’t drink, he didn’t cut his hair, he spoke differently, he lived differently. It was a sign that he was devoted to God. Everyone could see that Samson was devoted to God.

At the same time, in secret, he was evil. He was tied to the devil and the world! These two things were going on in his life at once.

This man would not cut his hair, was a “charismatic Christian”, had a public sign that he was a man of God, but he wanted a wife that was an unbeliever (Judges 14.1-3). A man anointed by God but a man who wanted worldly pleasure too!

There are many Christians doing this today, many Samsons in the church, and many of them in ministry! There are many pastors with split personalities and many people in the church with split personalities. There is their church personality – sweet, and kind, and holy, and praisy, and prophetic, and anointed – holier than thou! Then there is their not around the church personality – carnal, selfish, hungry for the things of the world.

Some of you reading this blog – I am speaking directly to you. You are in the church, you are born again, you are ministering. But you are on the other side of things playing with the world and chasing the world and lusting for the things in the world. Your best friends are unbelievers and the girls you chase are unbelievers – you are Samson.

You are not in a council-run youth group. You are not in a dead Presbyterian church. You are in a Spirit-filled, tongue talking, on fire youth group in a living church, you have heard the gospel, you have even been to Bible College. You hear life changing sermons over and over and over and over, yet your best friends are unbelievers. You are Samson, and you have a problem.

Today, admit you have a problem. Speak to your pastor, find some Christian friends to pray with you, start to change things, start to spend more private time with the Lord and in the Word. Today, we start dealing with this, so that you will be single-minded, not double-minded.

Next week, I will continue down this theme, on how this condition of a split personality affects your thinking and how to get free.  Watch this space!

 

Someone said it’s not Christlike to block people on Facebook. What they are saying is that if Christ had Facebook He wouldn’t block people.
I’m not convinced, here are 5 Reasons I am convinced it would be godly at times to block people:

1. Bad Company corrupts good character (1 Cor. 15.33). The Bible teaches that we become like who we hang around with. I don’t want to be around negative, sweary, rude, immature people unless I am ministering to them and helping them. That holds on social media too.

2. Avoid foolish controversies (Titus 3.9). Paul is quite clear there, and sometimes some people just want to argue – all over your timeline.  Sometimes, the only way to obey Titus 3.9 online can be the block button.

3. Flee from sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6.9). Some people are using social media as a pick up joint. You shouldn’t be involved in that, and sometimes we need to run like Jospeh and cut someone o it of our life. 80% of divorces in London have the Word “Facebook” in the filing, do not be part of this statistic.

2. Abstain from the appearance of evil (1 Thess. 5.22). Sometimes people are posting things that are evil, and it ends up on your timeline . You shouldn’t be involved in that or let people think you condone it.

1. Romans 16.17

 I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned (Romans 16.17, TLB)

That’s part of Scripture. I avoid religiously the people who cause division and obstacles in my way. I just don’t go near them and don’t engage with them, because I believe the Bible. That’s online and offline.

Selah.

Jesus was a remarkably successful man – He fed 5000 people with a couple of loaves and fish, He regularly healed everyone who came to him, He ministered with life and joy, and He had fun – He laughed and children loved Him! The secret to this success was found in Luke 2.52: Jesus grew in wisdom and favour, and in favour with God and with man.

So Jesus grew in four things, and for the next few blog posts, we will examine these four things:

1. WISDOM
2. STATURE (maturity)
3. FAVOUR WITH GOD
4. FAVOUR WITH MAN

The sentence could be read: Jesus grew in FAVOUR WITH GOD and FAVOUR WITH MAN because he grew in WISDOM and STATURE.  The key to unlock the favour and let it flow through your life is to grow in wisdom and stature.

We need to get wisdom.  Right now I am on Revelation TV, and I tell you there is great favour with God and man on the TV, and miracles are happening and lives are changing. But we have paid for that through our giving and our faith – I know not many churches could have stepped up the way we did when we did, but it was our wisdom in knowing our faith and sowing work.

WISDOM is our ability to know how things work and WORK THEM. It is practical. It is the correct working of knowledge – it is not bookish, but it is what we do and how we act. The Greek word for wisdom is sophia, and it means to understand how knowledge relates to other knowledge, and the ability to form links between actions and the world around us.

Many people are foolish because they are unable to form links – the girl who goes out clubbing and is foolish with boys and can’t understand how she got pregnant was foolish because she didn’t link her behaviour to consequences. I have seen many people lose their jobs because of foolish behaviour because they didn’t link knowledge together! On the other hand, the people who receive great promotions and great fortunes can link ideas and knowledge together.

Wisdom is also the act of interpreting what is going on around you. It takes wisdom to interpret dreams and visions, but you also need to interpret life. I am wise when it comes to interpreting the flow of the Holy Spirit in a meeting – what is going to happen next, what is the Holy Spirit doing and why, where am I moving now? I can see those things, it is an area in which I have wisdom. You need wisdom in your areas of expertise, in your flow.

Wisdom is also the skilled management of resources – that could be money and time. Many people are late to church every week because they are foolish, they do not know how to manage their time with skill.

Proverbs 1.7 says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, so that is also a massive part of wisdom – learning how to live a God-fearing life. What that is – we will cover in our next post!

1. Captain Whinger
2. Mr Invulnerable
3. Major Critic
4. The Invisible Man
5. Dr Theologicalhermeuticalphilosophicalobjections
6. The Incredible Sulk
7. Mr Offended
8. The Amazing 20 Minutes Late For No Reason Man
9. Gossip Girl
10. Mr Miserly

Any more suggestions?  Let’s hear them below!

12. There is not one Christian in the New Testament who did not go to church.  There was no-one in the New Testament walking down the beach on Sunday mornings or going down the pub with another Christian and claiming “I don’t go to church, I am the church”.  You have no Biblical example of a Christian who was not a church-goer.

11. Every letter in the New Testament was written to a church or a pastor or elder. There was no communication of Scripture without local church. Imagine the Ephesian church received the letter to the Ephesians and that was the day you stayed at home to find yourself, to have a rest, to watch the football, because you were tired. Imagine missing out on the book of Ephesians being read for the first time.  Church is that important every Sunday!

10. Jesus went to the synagogue as was his custom (Luke 4.16). You are not smarter than Jesus, better than Jesus or more amazing than Jesus.  Jesus consistently gathered in public with the people of God. You should to, if you want to describe yourself as Christ-like. This also takes the sting out of the “I have to agree with the pastor 100% or I am not going” nonsense. I bet Jesus didn’t agree with everything the people said about Isaiah and Hosea, and He wrote them but He still went! That’s a hero, that’s the nature of love.

9. Paul told the Hebrews that they must not forsake assembling.  Assembling is not hanging out with your Christian mates. Assembling is being in the church and being built together, helping one another, loving one another, building one another up and finding your place.

8. The only organization Jesus Christ promised to build on earth and that the gates of hell could not prevail against was and is the church. It’s that simple. Not a Bible College, a conference, a gathering – but church.

7. The only way to mature as a believer and avoid being tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine is to be somewhere where there are five-fold ministries bringing equipping and maturity to the saints (Eph. 4.11ff). Many Christians are all over the place because they have never been planted and rooted into a church.

6. Jesus said that people were troubled and helpless because they didn’t have a pastor (Matt. 9.36). It’s amazing how many Christians I meet that don’t go to church who could be utterly summed up as troubled and helpless. I love hearing the stories of people who have come to our church and now walk above their troubles, and have a constant source of help and love at all times.

5. The church is the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12.27).  Here is an experiment for you – cut your big toe off (just one of them) and put it in a jar.  After three weeks, compare the big toe attached to your body to the one that you have cut off. Which one is healthier? That is why you need to be at church. Notice that the church is worse off without you, but it will and can survive, you on the other hand – well, go and look at that severed big toe again!

4. D L Moody used the following illustration as to why consistent church attendance was important. He took a coal out of a coal fire, and the fire on the individual piece of coal soon lost it’s flame, whereas the fire made of many coals kept burning fiercely. Being in fellowship with the local church stops your love growing cold.

3. Church makes things real. There is so much phoney in the world today, and Christians can be the worst offenders. I read emails about how much people love Jesus and love God, but if they cannot be part of a family of believers, if they cannot attend a local church, they are flat out liars. That sounds harsh, but it didn’t come from my brain, it came from the apostle of love – 1 John 4.20! The reality of dealing with other people keeps it real, and that’s important!

2. All the believers in Jerusalem were added to the church. That’s the end product of believing to be added to the church. Let the whole process of salvation be complete in you, and be added to a church!

1. 1 Cor. 12.28 tells us God has put the ministry gifts not into a Bible School or conference but into the church. You need God’s gifts in your life, so go to church this Sunday!