Principles of Success 09 Learn How Gender Works

God made humanity male and female. There’s a particular male energy and a particular female energy. The way the world is pressing is to eliminate those differences but male and female are different. They are not the same! Being a good man is not precisely the same as being a good woman. God has made us male and female on purpose. I often counsel newly-weds who struggle to find out how different their spouse is, not realizing it is just gender differences.

We are not the product of random chance and millions of years of evolution we were designed by God and your manhood or womanhood was deliberately part of God’s design, something God did on purpose, with intention, and God has put you on earth with a plan that is aware of the gender you are!

The word man in Hebrew is “Adam” and we have two Adams in the Bible to learn from, the first Adam, Adam, and the second Adam, Jesus. The Adam from the book of Genesis was given the whole earth to rule – to have great adventures, to work the land, to obey God, and to care for the woman. He failed to do all of them, but that was the design. Men today are supposed to be having adventures, obey God, work and when God brings them a woman to love them. Don’t fall like Adam and be passive – men are supposed to be active, to have energy that leads and creates and produces. If you are male, be a man!

Jesus was also a man – born male. He also had a design to have adventures with God, do work, and love and care for the woman God brings to Him. He was active, strong, worked with his hands, made things with wood, and when God brought him the bride of the church, He has done nothing but love the church and care for her, no matter how badly she treated Him.

Jesus in the garden did not fail to be a man, He did not fail to step up. He allowed himself to suffer to take the place of others to help others. That is part of being a man. This is what Adam did not do – He did not want to confront satan and just stood there and let a talking snake seduce his wife. Not manly! Not working like a man! Real manliness is not passive, it is brave, bold, adventurous, it expects rewards from God in assertive and strong faith.

The energy of a woman is similar but not the same. Mary was brave, and brought Jesus into the world. When Eve ignored God’s Word, Mary said “let it be to me according to the Word”, Eve doubted the Word, Mary doubted her doubts and trusted the Word. She was confronted with a situation which is truly impossible in the natural realm, but God said. She was also prepared to be pregnant and unmarried and undergo the abuse of that. But she embraces God’s call in her life. She was not working the land and leading the same way as the Adam, but she was expecting God’s best and trusting God’s Word. A true woman embraces what God tells her, makes wise choices and expects God to come through for her.

If you understand these essential differences, you will do well.

If you are a man, you can spend time and find out how women work. If you are a woman, you can spend time and find out how men work. The male-female relationship is designed to complement each other – you are supposed to be working in a team that contains male and female. Children, both boys and girls, should be raised by mum and dad.

Men need the company of men, the mentorship of men, and male heroes. Women are the same. I’m not saying there is no overlap, that would be untrue and foolish, but I am saying that men are essential to men and vice versa, and we would do well to learn that.

If you are a leader, men and women have different energies, learn how to work with both!

Published by Tree of Life Church

We are a growing network of growing churches, with services weekly in Dagenham, Guildford, Watford, Croydon, Brentwood and Dorset. We are also planting churches in Cambridge, Suffolk, West Midlands and Hemel. Find out more at, and

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